tinker

from Blog ni Lei
tinker
Tuesday June 28th 2005, 9:39 pm

it’s funny how i, after more than two decades of existence, still can’t figure out how to adapt at certain things. i know change is inevitable but i still find it hard to adjust, just as quick as quicksand sinks, whenever it comes. maybe because i made myself a static world that is unyielding to its environs. or maybe i’m just really a selfish b*tch who doesn’t know the meaning of the word acceptance..

true, if i could only accept things, then i guess i could move on.

in this world, there are too many things to ponder about. but most things that bother me are things that doesn’t bother any normal human being under normal conditions and circumstances. (am i an abnormal?) i love making things more complicated…senseless… dull.

it makes me sad.

things like death still makes me sad. death that has been a nightmare to me in my childhood days…death that drastically became a desire on the darkest days in my adolescence and later on became a concept that i’m comfortable with…but still it makes me sad, especially if it happened to another being who had been a part of my life. for i never like the feeling of losing someone, the feeling of being left out…maybe it’s just because i really still have to learn how to accept things..that things are bound to change..or leave.