stupidity 101
Sunday December 23rd 2007, 3:21 pm
missed all the great things the last days of 2007 had had to offer, i couldnt care less. so many important things i’ve been attending to, so little time i have. so far, i think i’m doing quite alright. i’ve met new people, widening my so bounded horizon. for the past days, i’ve been spending time with this set of new acquaintances. they’re fun to be with. i wish it stayed that way.
friday night, the night i so wish to undo some things at. it kept on haunting my disoriented and traumatized being. two nightmares passed, i couldnt bear it anymore so im gonna write about it. very embarrassing that act of stupidity i must admit. but im no longer ashamed of it. yes, i can be stupid sometimes (or maybe a little bit more than sometimes) but i think it wasnt stupid at all.
i may seem suspicious at times but i’ve always had a very trusting soul. i always give the benefit of the doubt to everyone (with so little exception) and i always pray that they are what they seem to be. if being trustful the same thing as being stupid, then i cannot deny that i am (or had been) stupid. i so want to elaborate, with some details like the place and the time and the events that transpired, but
i just cant. the details that i could only supply were very subjective.
human instinct can be a hundred percent accurate, or a little less (or way way less) but nevertheless we must take heed upon. i dunno why i went against that instinct. it was such a moronic (go UP morons!) act when i was so aware that it’s a trap that i’m getting into but still didnt draw myself out of it. such a foolish moth that took some chance with the flame. i was just an inch away from a sure death. it could’ve
been worse. the thing is, it wasnt only my life i put in peril but of another innocent soul. if something worse happened, i would never forgive myself.
such traumatic incident could last a lifetime to a very fragile spirit but i hope she and i would recover very soon. we escaped the danger but it’s not guaranteed that we’re safe now. maybe it’s just a prelude to a tragedy, but i pray the contrary.
i’m struggling hard to get back to my optimistic self. that happy, positive and grateful me days ago which was caused by that accidental enlightenment weeks ago. maybe this is just a test. i must surpass this. i know i can. how i pray i would.
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