i need a formal dress!

after more than 20 shops/boutiques, few malls, hours of walking, i still couldnt find the perfect dress to wear to the wedding on the 23rd :( i need something formal that has sleeves. help?

lantern parade finale - fireworks display

lantern parade

my last lantern parade as a student :D
more pics to upload

looking for a bloody red or burgundy bolero

ive been trying to browse sites but still couldnt find what im looking for. if you are selling this stuff, please pm me asap. thanks. i need that bolero on the 23rd! =D

cosmo body

i said i would never go on a diet again. ever. i tried almost everything and would always end up gaining more weight instead after a month or two of enjoying the fruit of a successful diet plan. well, months ago, after quiting my job (i gained so much weight because i eat a lot when im stressed) i also quit dieting. i figured that the more i think of losing weight, the more i actually gain weight.

so i stopped thinking about losing weight and started binging on food until i grew tired of eating. i developed a bad eating habit. i became a moody eater (not a picky one). i eat whenever i feel like eating (which is the usual case =D) and i dont eat when i dont feel like eating. no restrictions on what to eat. mostly, i eat what i crave for. also, i sleep a lot these days. i feel fat and bloated but people kept on asking on what i did to lose weight.

a week ago, i received an offline message from a childhood friend asking me if im available on december 23. i said yes. i almost freaked out on her reply a few days later. she's getting married! oh no, a wedding! events make me feel fat. i panicked. i still have few more days though. my aunt, who's a health buff, is trying a new diet pill called cosmo body. she said, unlike the other diet pills she used to drink, the cosmo body pills does not give her head aches, body aches it just make her perspire more than the usual. also, she never experienced palpitation.

after days of thinking and boxes of pizza and liters of sodas, i finally bought a bottle of cosmo body. it said only one pill a day but i drank 2 this morning. crash diet eh? my aunt said that in the forum (she always visit health buff forums), some of the girls suggest that two pills a day is better than only one pill, especially for those who have no time for exercise. i still feel nothing as im writing this blog. oh well, i just hope i lose more weight before dec 23. and oh weddings, im getting older!

(on the picture above: the pills and the photo of my best friend's wedding where i was really fat! see i cropped the pic haha)

crazy for marzee

one of the many songs she played last night that i was able to capture before my battery went off

the night i discovered marzee's talent

marzee is my cousin eunice's 6-year-old daughter. every new year, we would have family reunion and they always bring marzee with them. we've always known she's a brilliant child but we never knew about her gift until last night. we (i, my brother, and other cousins) hung out at their place last night. marzee told me that she wanted me to listen to her play the guitar. i was like "oh ok" but when she started strumming the guitar, i grabbed my phone and asked her to play again. watch out for the part where she did a good plucking! (the video is kinda dark and the sound's not that clear because i used my phone to record it.)

TCL

ive been looking for these pics for ages! i thought i lost em but thank God i found them. i think this was taken way way back in march 2007. one of my usual OJT days at The Children's Library.

new route for ikot?

i was in a rush to meet a friend up in UP this morning when suddenly, the ikot jeep took the wrong turn. i wasnt aware there is a new route for ikot. hmmmp.

"only Bella touches my skin..." - Edward Cullen

lol it wasnt on the scipt (did i even spell the names correctly?), im just trying hard to pull off a humor. oh well, im not gonna write any spoilers (as if a lot of people havent seen it yet as im writing this!). the only reason i went to see Twilight last night was to finally make up my mind if im gonna read the series or not. well, i decided to read it but only when im done with my thesis :D harhar. i was just intrigued. might write a review when i got time. for now, let's just wait for the New Moon ;P

KSP

how many times did i long for your hug

i could not remember a single time you hugged me

its always i who would hug you first

how many times did i imagine you are home

cooking dinner, tidying things up, waiting for us to arrive

but it's always an empty home.

how many times should i envy my friends

for having mums around whenever they needed them

even at times they don't

how many times should i wonder

if you ever thought of me when you're busy at work

if you ever missed me like other mums miss their children

how can you be so cold to me?

is it because the reason why you didn't reach

the dream you once had is because you accidentally had me?

Lalab

he was the only kitten at home who does not have a name yet then. we thought of naming him Lalab one day because he looked like our childhood playmate who's nickname is Lalab. it suited him well. we love him. i know the other cats love him too, especially Cheetoots who always play with him (well, he made him his toy actually but nevertheless he took good care of him more than the other kittens). i worry more of him than the other kittens because he was Cheezee's only surviving kitty and he looked fragile. Cheezee, one of my oldest cats at home, has a record of giving birth to unhealthy kittens. not one kitten survived the first time she gave birth. last May was the second time sje littered (http://vanethleigh.multiply.com/photos/album/68/my_new_cheekyutings#14). she had five kittens but only Lalab survived. after months of making sure he survives, i became busy with other things. and having seven cats and five kittens is a handful. 

i was in the province last week for almost a week. when i came back, Lalab was still in good shape. i noticed that he had a bulky tummy though. i just assumed that he was just full, just like the other kittens. three days ago, he started "knocking at my door" more often (my other cats do that when they needed something from me like when they are hungry or need some petting). i allowed him to stay inside my room. he has been telling me something by looking at me weirdly and meowing. back then, he looked fine so i didnt bother bringing him to the vet. but somehow i could feel something was wrong. i was just too lazy to entertain the thought that maybe there was indeed. then yesterday, he looked very unhealthy. he looked thinner. he couldnt eat although he tried hard to. i wanted to stay home and attend to him and bring him to the vet. but i had to follow up my appeal for MRR extension and then enrol. but then after being able to enroll yesterday (which by the way made me really happy), i had to accompany my aunt in meeting up somebody in Manila. 

so it was really late when i got home. on the way home, i bought some milk for Lalab, still thinking that i should bring him to the vet first thing in the morning. after dropping all my things in my room, i looked for Lalab. i found him lying on the kitchen floor. i thought he was dead. i thanked God when i saw his chest move. so i made him a bed near my room so i can easily attend to him. he looked fine that moment. then stupid me put some milk on the dropper and fed him a drop or two. i forgot that i should never feed sick cats with milk! 

i was in my room, still happy at the thought that i got another chance to finish my degree, when i heard some meows on my door. the kittens and Cheetoots sat around Lalab. i thought he's thirsty again, but when i checked on him, his eyes were fully dilated, mouth dry and pale, no longer breathing. i wanted to cry that very moment but my eyes remained dry up until im writing this. 

Lalab, im sorry. I will miss you. :(

03 nov 08

poblacion, caauigan, talisay

02 nov 08

Daet 01 nov 08

as usual, punta nanaman sa mga berks sa daet pagkauwi ng talisay :D

Holloween at Naga city (31oct - 01 nov 08)

i was born and raised in a town 2 hours away from Naga city but this is only the fourth time i've been able to visit the city. the first time was when i was only 4 or 5 years old. i spent my summer vacation there. the second time was a field trip way back in high school. the third was when i had to attend ate Maryll's wedding 3 years ago.

trip or trip

on the road to naga ^^
30-31 oct 08

my b&w cats

28oct08, dunno why they went to my room that afternoon

trip or trip?

feel the pokeholes as you pass
the road so rough. notice how
the panorama captures
your hazy sight as you take
deep breaths of fascination.

sonnet 1

since shakespeare says it better, i wont write another

From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content
And, tender churl, makest waste in niggarding.
  Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
  To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.

early bird catches the storm

two days in a row, i was able to sleep and wake up early ^^ yay. the best thing is that i've been well despite the not-so-well weather.

finger exercise

letting my heart feel the warmth of each note
and eyes see the colors amidst darkness,
i let my fingers linger on each stroke
allowing them to tremble in numbness

while ears enjoy the harmonious moan
of vibrating melodies spiraling
the cool morning air. each time i press on
the long hard keys, my heart would start beating

so fast my blood would rush to my head and
my body would deliriously shake
to the wondrous feeling on each bend
of piano strings as the music transcends.

cravings

swim in jealousy until you drown. fool
yourself more with sweet lies. get blinded by
his charming moves so disarming you'd drool
like a mad dog fancying a bone. then sigh
for longing kisses of darkness. deny
him the sight of thine spotless sheet. no cry
would release the agony trapped inside.
unable to bear what you try to hide.

sonnet 116

never thought that i've read shakespeares long before reading the midsummer night's dream. (most probably i forgot again!) when i chanced upon the sonnet 116, my Language Arts class in high school came back to me (we have discussed that poem in LA level 6,7 or 8 for i think a whole straight week! teacher oline was so patient with us then) my oh my, lovefool sigh. ;P

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

amuse me

why should a poet need a muse to write
a sonnet so sweet that would entice the world
to read the written pages intended
not only for them to read but to embrace?

can't he just write without thinking so much
about metre, rhyme and style that only
box his creativity and poetry?

if i were to write a poem, i would want
her to sprout from my soul and then breathe
her immortality to meet more souls.

but why that need for a muse always knock
when the paper is ready to be marked?
what if the poet found no muse at all?
would that be an excuse to not write a
good poem that would capture another soul?

amuse me with your sweet nothings my muse.
i found you at the most unexpected
time and place i could ever imagine.
you just didn't know how much the pain you
caused me made me suffer and move my pen.

as if i were possessed, my jealousy
helped me pour out verses i've been keeping.
i might sound masochistic, but the more
you hurt me, the more i find the right words
to fill this blank versed sonnet i intend
to dedicate to you, oh, darling muse.

accompanying pam @ venezia

21oct08
gupit hair
then ate ice cream
photo shoot with auntie hannah
mcdo treat ni pam

upon dreaming a midsummer night's scream

eyne no longer sphery,
she never so weary
until that very evening.
nay, she was only dreaming.

what a dream was here! -- exclaimed she.
look how she did quake with much fear!
was the dream so terrible
that it brought her to tremble?

early on, i did hear her squeal
as i tried to steal Shakespeare's quill.
i thought she saw my crime!
just when i thought it's time

to throw myself out my window,
appeared to me a tall shadow.
though it did not scare me at all,
still i hid behind a bleak wall.

then i heard a female voice beg.
through wall's chink, i saw a figure
appeared, a man of great stature.
she's on her knees, clutching his leg,

as with so much love she uttered
the lines could've only mustered,
"I'll follow thee, and make a heaven of hell,*
To die upon the hand I love so well." *

tears began to fill up mine eyne
as they meet the glowing crescent,
the only thing pleasant that night
that brought me a little delight.

then i thought of the drying ink.
should've not worn a gown so pink
laced with thorns pressed hard on my skin.
stood frozen like a mannequin

as a vision came upon me.
thence the air was very steamy.
i could see your face through the steam.
quite enchanted, i had to scream.

i crushed the quill i was holding.
forgot why i started writing
in couplets when it should be in sonnets
that i should write to let myself forget.


* lines borrowed from shakespeare ;P

i remember, date and time... (the day you went away by M2M)

on a new habit, a bad one. sleeping for two straight days, then staying up for the next two days. been doing this for quite some time now. last night, i was about to break the habit. l was on a deep sleep for i think a few minutes already when i had to get up to do a task. ugh! then i coudnt go back to sleep so i started blogging (in an effort to make me sleepy? asa pa :P writing on my mobile wont ). when i was about to hit the publish button, it went back to the previous page. ugh! it was quite an interesting post i called "cats mating". some content i can still recall is the part when i wrote about the rowdy cats on the roof and the howls filling up the cool morning air. oh no, mating season? i went out to check on my cats. one was missing. that darn cat! went back blogging. saw some status message, made me look at the calendar. it's october 22nd. sigh. 22nd, yeah. is it just the sentimental me or ... no more or please :S stop thinking too much. things happen for a reason. pictures mum inquiring, what's the use of crying over spilt milk? i'd reply, i just realized that nothing will replace that bottle of perfume i broke last month. :(

All I Need

performed by Within Temptation

well, yeah, make my heart a better place, that's all i need right now!

mobile multiply

i was happy because i'm able to access multiply anywhere i go. i could check some stuff and post blogs. but the thing is that i couldnt edit, delete nor post the blog to private access (something that i had just discovered this very moment!). sigh. thought i could post absolutely anything here :(

to sing or not to sing

still confused whether i'll join the church choir or resume my duty in the secretariat. i've been a secretary for around seven years so it's not that easy to decide. but i've been missing the koro for quite some years now. or should i say more than a decade now. one thing is certain--i can't eat the cake and have it at the same time. i gotta choose :S

looking up again

this world is a huge classroom.
you might top the class
without learning anything.
you might flunk the exams
yet know everything.
but the most important thing is
to not lose the appetite in learning
despite all the impediments that keep on coming.

@ multilingual, 11oct08

2nd anniv of multilingual, inc.
there were free foreign language classes
i was wearing too many mustardy stuff

sunrise

at pam's flat, 11oct08

one rainy friday

10oct08 something dreadful happened early this morning. wont go into details but i wasnt able to sleep the night before. thank God the morning sky wasnt grey. it was so blue (well, of course my fonecam couldnt capture the colors) my brother also took a picture of it. as i was about to sleep in the morning, my aunt called asking me to accompany her to my cousin's school. i dont wanna stay home that day so i said yes. so despite the rain and the lack of sleep i went with her to St. Joseph College. the classes were suspended because of the rain. we had lunch, then went to buy some stuff too (aka shopping? :P) then went to the bank then bought some clothes then went home then went to multilingual to prepare for the deutschkurs with pam. whew, it was fairly a long friday

feeding my cats with hotdogs :P

09oct09 - rome's birthday, outside rome's bhaus + hotdogs i cooked that night + feeding my cats with hotdogs :D

besperas ng birthday ni rome

sa labas ng bhaus ni rome. kumakain ng puto pao na sobrang sarap. nagkwekwentuhan din. happy birthday rome!

07 oct 08

i was trying to capture that shaft of light coming out the clouds on the upper right corner of the frame when lightning suddenly struck :D

sunset was mustardy yellow but it was grey for my fonecam :S it was a grey afternoon as well. but it got better after the sun had set.

05 oct 08

nakipulong uli :D

we got moolah na hahaha

lei turns from being a camwhore to a paparazzi! hahaha

bring it on

avoid me
ignore me
forget it
or better yet
just disappear

rain, rain, go away. never come back any day. Leiballet wants to play

pull that kleenex out
wipe those tears
crumple the kleenex
trash it

smile
the rain will go away

gimmick ng mga purita avila ahahahaha

oct 3, 2008

adopt a kitten :)

as i already have 7 cats (including the biggest one on the picture), i need to dispose these 5 cute kitties. if you want to adopt one, please message me. the two plain white kitties are female, the other 3 are male. the white with orage spots is a very shy kittie, the exact opposite of the one with black spots which is a very active kitten and as menacing as the plain white male kitten (lol just exagerating!) but they are all adorable. i dont wanna give them away but we're moving to a new home and 7 cats are already a handful, how much more 12 of em :S help? :D i wont charge anything, i just wanna make sure they would all find the best home they could ever have. :)

when will i learn my lesson? hahaha

Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2008 01:39:31 +0800
From: iLib Support
Subject: [UP iLib] Library Accountabilities

Dear Vaneth Leigh Villania,
Please settle your library accountabilities as soon as possible.
Overdue Materials

Title: Document management : new technology for the information services manager
Author: Megill, Kenneth A., 1939-
Accession No: LS-8922
Call No: HF5736/M44
Borrowed Date: Sep 08, 2008
Due Date: Sep 22, 2008
Current Fine: 22.00
Location: School of Library and Information Studies

yet another dream

last night you were in my dreams
wish i can tell you this
i can see you online as i'm writing
this is the second one
or maybe the third

the first one was that chasing game
i think i blogged about sometime ago
where you caught me
after your mom pointed me to you

this time, we're together
then you left me alone with your brother
he tried to get to know me better
asking me questions
trying to gauge how much i know you

then your parents appeared
your mom and dad
i wasn't sure if they were pleased
by the things they saw i did

i heard some strides
as the moment of truth arrived
surrounded by your family
how i wished i could flee
until you sat beside me

kleenex

take one out
use it
throw it
that's the cycle.
but why can't i
trash this one i'm holding?
maybe because
it's not a kleenex afterall

bursting

take it easy
lay down
take a deep breath
sit up
sip your tea
drown your head
stop thinking!

Multilingual Inc. 2nd Anniversary

MULTILINGUAL Inc. celebrates its 2nd Anniversary!

On October 11, 2008, we shall be having....

FREE LANGUAGE CLASSES
Learn the basics of GERMAN , FRENCH, SPANISH, JAPANESE, KOREAN, MANDARIN & AMERICAN ENGLISH language. Three solid hours of language learning for FREE. You may choose from any of the following schedule : 9am to 12nn / 1:00pm to 4pm. All you need to do is to register on or before October 10, 2008.

MULTICULTURAL PARTY
A party for all language enthusiast! Enjoy great food, fine music, meet new friends and experience the language of the world at 6pm. To get special invites, simply email your name, age, nationality & contact number to info@multilingual.com.ph.

Celebrate this great occasion with us.

For more details, please call us at telephone no. 727 0947 to 48 or text at CP no. 0921 6631142. or visit our website on www.multilingual.com.ph

one wednesday with jena

belat banker

all photos grabbed from jena :D

now it all turns sour come sweeten every afternoon

i touched your hand you took my heart :( now it all turns sour come sweeten every afternoon..say you'll stay, dont come and go like you do :S

(cover song sway by bic runga)

searching for the head take2.3gp

searching for the head take1.3gp

headless barbie drama.3gp

the headless barbie wants to party.3gp

headless barbie.3gp

fred and kent looking for leila.3gp

paula asking for forgiveness.3gp

fred looking for the real leila.3gp

leila who.3gp

kent meeting with leila.3gp

who's leila.3gp

fred looking for leila.3gp

kent and fred intro.3gp

one saturday morning with my cousin raven. yes, we played barbies and kens

one afternoon with gogoo

hahaha, eating sushi at red ribbon :D

gogoo happens to be in manila. it's been months since we last saw each other. i met up with her yesterday to hand her her diploma. with her were her mom (who was my high school english teacher and who just took the recently concluded bar exam. oh no, no pics with tita oline!), Mommy Cool (her grandma who was my health teacher in high school, and yes we call her Mommy Cool) and her cute cousins Ruthie and Sammie. it was a wonderful afternoon.

sunny sunday

watched two movies last night, the forbidden kingdom and the other Boleyn girl on dvd, then downloaded songs (songs that reminds me so much of my high school days). hay. so i did not sleep at all. i hope i can stay up this sunny day. it should be a great day. we found cheewoks around 2am over the fence. thank God it's sunday!

happily ever after: lovefool or lustful?

It might be a fantasy, but I've always believed in one true love. Life is a fairytale. Each lady is born for her gentleman. One day, her path will cross his and they will fall in love with each other at the very moment their eyes first meet. Sure something will happen to spoil their sprouting romance but there will always be a happy ending. That's what I believed in for a quarter of a century now. And I think it's time to end this long and hopeless daydream of true love's first kiss.

Oh well, that dream of true love's first kiss actually died when I realized that I am surrounded by failed relationships. Is love only a fairytale? Is it only a prelude to an unhappy marriage? That's what it seems to me. Or maybe, it is love that gets people through a bad relationship. Can there really be a happy ever after? How would I know? I've never been married nor had a boyfriend.

This site is mainly to guide myself on my quest whether or not to believe in romantic love at all. Everything about and beyond romantic relationships or anything that resembles it will be discussed. I might also add my musings, rants, and poems that I wrote on my other sites.

The saga begins here.

Lei D. Gaga

red and blue

a puddle of blood
where i stood
heart pounding
mind's aching
couldn't decide
if i'll let you in
maybe i'd know the answer
when it stop bleeding

smeared make-ups

my face is still damp with tears
spoke with her
this time without too much arguing
just humbling myself
admitting that i screwed up
asking for yet another chance
and sharing some plans
i made her cry again
but this time with joy
cos she finally heard
what she's been longing to hear
an "i miss you, ma"
from a bitter daughter

fucktard

ive been using the word for months now but i just realized it. and today, ive been saying this word non-stop. fucktard! why lei?

yet another wednesday with jena

movie. arcade. window shopping.

yeah, after hanging out with pam the night before, i went out with jena to watch sisterhood of the traveling pants. wonder why i havent finished what im supposed to do? :P lei grow up haha.

arcade, videoke und kaffee mit pam

tekken6, car race, videoke, mocha frappe and more

sizzling dinner

we all wanted to eat at Mister Kabab but the queue was too long and my brother coudnt wait any longer so we ended up eating at some smaller place, i forgot the name of, but the food was okay naman.

(with ken-ken, junoy, rome)

Kaoma ensinando Lambada - Parte 3

i also danced this one before :D

Dancando Lambada from Lambada Dance Party (part 7 of 9)

more about lambada

from Lambada Dance Party intro from Lambada Dance Party ( 1 of 9)

Kaoma ensinando Lambada - Parte 2

well, speaking of Lambada, here are the basics

Kaoma ensinando Lambada - Parte 1

Kaoma - Lambada

me and all of the 1st graders in my school danced to the tune of this song on a mass demonstration way way back in the 90's. i can still remember the basic steps and suprisingly, i have a copy of the photo of the mass demo.

look :D



then i heard the song again today while playing my aunt's sergio mendez playlist. it took a while for me to find this video for i was searching for sergio mendez instead of kaoma. anyways, i think my love for the potuguese language mightve started way way back when i first heard the song. here's the lyrics:

Chorando se foi quem um dia so me fez chorar
Chorando se foi quem um dia so me fez chorar

Chorando estara ao lembrar de um amor
Que um dia nao soube cuidar
Chorando estara ao lembrar de um amor
Que um dia nao soube cuidar

A recordacao vai estar com ele aonde for
A recordacao vai estar pra sempre aonde for

Danca sol e mar guardarei no olhar
O amor faz perder encontrar
Lambando estarei ao lembrar que este amor
Por um dia um instante foi rei

A recordacao vai estar com ele aonde for
A recordacao vai estar pra sempre aonde for

Chorando estara ao lembrar de um amor
Que um dia nao soube cuidar

Cancao riso e dor melodia de amor
Um momento que fica no ar

I-I-I
Dancando Lambada