Monday, December 31, 2007
Happy 2008!
roughly two hours before 2008! instead of announcing my resolutions for the coming year, i'd rather list down all the things that i'm grateful for this passing year. i'm grateful that i'm still alive and dreaming. there are so many things i learned in 2007 and most of them i learned the hard way (so i would definitely always bear in mind all the lessons it taught me :D) i thank God for giving me all the chances to correct all the mistakes i've done and for always giving me second chances. thank God because i've been given another chance to do my tungkulin as kalihim despite all my shortcomings. i'm also grateful for all the great opportunities that i chanced upon this year, for the experiences and the new friends that i met. i'm very grateful that i was able to understand the why's of the difficult things that i've been into. i really thank God for the enlightenment that he bestowed upon me before the year ends. i wish everyone a very happy 2008!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Stupidity 101
missed all the great things the last days of 2007 had had to offer, i couldnt care less. so many important things i've been attending to, so little time i have. so far, i think i'm doing quite alright. i've met new people, widening my so bounded horizon. for the past days, i've been spending time with this set of new acquaintances. they're fun to be with. i wish it stayed that way.
friday night, the night i so wish to undo some things at. it kept on haunting my disoriented and traumatized being. two nightmares passed, i couldnt bear it anymore so im gonna write about it. very embarrassing that act of stupidity i must admit. but im no longer ashamed of it. yes, i can be stupid sometimes (or maybe a little bit more than sometimes) but i think it wasnt stupid at all.
i may seem suspicious at times but i've always had a very trusting soul. i always give the benefit of the doubt to everyone (with so little exception) and i always pray that they are what they seem to be. if being trustful the same thing as being stupid, then i cannot deny that i am (or had been) stupid. i so want to elaborate, with some details like the place and the time and the events that transpired, but i just cant. the details that i could only supply were very subjective.
human instinct can be a hundred percent accurate, or a little less (or way way less) but nevertheless we must take heed upon. i dunno why i went against that instinct. it was such a moronic (go UP morons!) act when i was so aware that it's a trap that i'm getting into but still didnt draw myself out of it. such a foolish moth that took some chance with the flame. i was just an inch away from a sure death. it could've been worse. the thing is, it wasnt only my life i put in peril but of another innocent soul. if something worse happened, i would never forgive myself.
such traumatic incident could last a lifetime to a very fragile spirit but i hope she and i would recover very soon. we escaped the danger but it's not guaranteed that we're safe now. maybe it's just a prelude to a tragedy, but i pray the contrary.
i'm struggling hard to get back to my optimistic self. that happy, positive and grateful me days ago which was caused by that accidental enlightenment weeks ago. maybe this is just a test. i must surpass this. i know i can. how i pray i would.
friday night, the night i so wish to undo some things at. it kept on haunting my disoriented and traumatized being. two nightmares passed, i couldnt bear it anymore so im gonna write about it. very embarrassing that act of stupidity i must admit. but im no longer ashamed of it. yes, i can be stupid sometimes (or maybe a little bit more than sometimes) but i think it wasnt stupid at all.
i may seem suspicious at times but i've always had a very trusting soul. i always give the benefit of the doubt to everyone (with so little exception) and i always pray that they are what they seem to be. if being trustful the same thing as being stupid, then i cannot deny that i am (or had been) stupid. i so want to elaborate, with some details like the place and the time and the events that transpired, but i just cant. the details that i could only supply were very subjective.
human instinct can be a hundred percent accurate, or a little less (or way way less) but nevertheless we must take heed upon. i dunno why i went against that instinct. it was such a moronic (go UP morons!) act when i was so aware that it's a trap that i'm getting into but still didnt draw myself out of it. such a foolish moth that took some chance with the flame. i was just an inch away from a sure death. it could've been worse. the thing is, it wasnt only my life i put in peril but of another innocent soul. if something worse happened, i would never forgive myself.
such traumatic incident could last a lifetime to a very fragile spirit but i hope she and i would recover very soon. we escaped the danger but it's not guaranteed that we're safe now. maybe it's just a prelude to a tragedy, but i pray the contrary.
i'm struggling hard to get back to my optimistic self. that happy, positive and grateful me days ago which was caused by that accidental enlightenment weeks ago. maybe this is just a test. i must surpass this. i know i can. how i pray i would.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Jason Mraz - Life is wonderful (Live)
Yes indeed, das Leben ist wunderbar! live and love and smile my friends :)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Shut up Lei!
no, i won't! i might regret (doing this) in the future but at this very moment, i believe this is the right thing to do. i hate violence. can't even tolerate watching wrestling shows (though i know that most of them are just scripted games). i believe every human being has the right to live in a peaceful, loving and secured world.
when i was little, i thought, i could only witness violence in the idiot box we call television, on the news and also in the movies. i felt so safe and protected then, unaware that i've been given small doses of it as i grow up, making me a little immune to such savagery. i was ten when i witnessed a very unpleasant event. i cannot take it off my mind. there was a thunderstorm. the power was out and it was way past midnight. i heard a very faint moan followed by a whispered argument. the discussion grew louder and as i can't bear it, i climbed down my bed and followed the source of the commotion.
when i was little, i thought, i could only witness violence in the idiot box we call television, on the news and also in the movies. i felt so safe and protected then, unaware that i've been given small doses of it as i grow up, making me a little immune to such savagery. i was ten when i witnessed a very unpleasant event. i cannot take it off my mind. there was a thunderstorm. the power was out and it was way past midnight. i heard a very faint moan followed by a whispered argument. the discussion grew louder and as i can't bear it, i climbed down my bed and followed the source of the commotion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)